neopiacentral:

My mom found a handicapped marker on the ground so whenever we park in a handicapped spot she makes me limp when we get out of the car

(via slapmytitties)

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

(via beefysquirrelz)

frigerator:

ok it was kind of cute and helpful when my laptop reached temperatures approximately equivalent to the sun in the winter but it’s about to be summer and i really don’t need this right now

(via dietchola)