orgygami: burghers: Not Safe For Wimps
mrschriskendall: mrschriskendall: ”where do you wanna go to dinner?” ”i don’t care” ”ok” why this got notes i’ll never know
neopiacentral: My mom found a handicapped marker on the ground so whenever we park in a handicapped spot she makes me limp when we get out of the car
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
frigerator: ok it was kind of cute and helpful when my laptop reached temperatures approximately equivalent to the sun in the winter but it’s about to be summer and i really don’t need this right now
i’ve got nothing to give mom this mother’s day except proof that i tried to make her something
coolyounghip: octupac: tumblr user more like tumblr LOSER haha am i right yes, sadly
banesboner: am-pour-me-a-glass: gingadensetsusmokeweed: everyone remembers chicken nugger but what about chichen nuggest nugget nugger nuggest new pokemon evolutionary line
toinfinityandbeyonce: finnickodaired: barackinaroundthechristmastree: WHAT COLOR ARE MIRRORS let’s reflect on this
cancerousmexicanfetusrapewhistle: tristamateer: please tell me which part of yourself you hate the most so I know exactly where to plant my lips every time I see you Oh my dick definitely my dick
mayorsoffice: i heard a pigeon outside and i said “my son” im not sure why
slenclerman: slenclerman: its three am. do you know where your notes are?